99% of the world suffers from low self esteem, in one form or another. If you think you’re the only person carrying that burden, it’s because everyone is so good at pretending. Because we’re all taught that to succeed you need to be confident and believe in yourself.
If you doubt yourself and doubt yourself often…of your worth and your capability, that’s the sign of a healthy human. If you’ve never done any of that, time to go see a psychiatrist before you cause severe damage in the world with your overblown self-delusion. (though granted you’d be the last person to question your own mental health.)
They say you should “believe in yourself”. But here’s thing…what exactly about yourself to believe in? And what is this belief based on?
If your self confidence is not based on evidence, you’re simply pretending, like most people do— making up a lie and trying to sell it to yourself, yet deep down knowing you’d never buy it as long as you’re still sane.
If your self confidence is evidence-based— i.e. you’ve done great in the past, therefore you’ll keep doing so in the future— such confidence will fail as soon as you fail. What goes up must come down. And fail you will.
Humans are beautiful and magnificent creatures. But we’re also—more often than not—weak, fearful, cowardly, deceptive, judgmental, self-centered, morally ambiguous, and lack of discernment. If you don’t see all of that in yourself, you’re adorably naive.
That’s why the more introspective and self aware you are, the harder it is to be “self confident”. Because you know your foibles and limitations all too well. And you’re not stupid enough to believe in lies.
Your perception about your human self is always biased and vastly unreliable. If you base your actions off of how you feel about yourself, you’d be falling short of your true potential, one way or another.
The good news is your self-confidence, or the lack of, doesn’t have any real effect on the outcome of your actions, if you learn to not give it as much weight as you were taught to.
You’re born with a well-designed life path, the whole purpose of which is for your highest growth and the expansion of consciousness. When you take an action or make a choice that is inspired by that path, it is always beneficial to the growth and expansion of your soul, regardless of the immediate outcome or how your ego feels about it. In that sense, an inspired action always has a benevolent purpose and leads to its intended outcome, no matter whether your human self feels confident about it or not.
When you’re taking actions from a place of inner knowing and alignment, self confidence or the lack of is entirely irrelevant. Because you know it’s not your human self that’s making things happen for you. You’re simply fulfilling your destiny. And that is a very powerful place to be.
I talk a lot more about how to deepen one’s inner knowing and take inspired actions in my audio course How to Get Anything You want. But for a start, it’s useful to examine your goals and ask yourself what’s really motivating you.
Is there something deeper driving you beyond your human self’s basic needs, e.g. for security, comfort, glory, belonging? Is there anything you do for the sake of itself…because somehow you feel compelled to do it…rather than as a means to some other end?
Love your human self with all your heart. It’s beautiful, amazing, and deserves your admiration and respect. But know that self perceptions are fickle and the psychological inclinations of your human self swing like a pendulum. When your actions and choices are motivated by an inner knowing of your true nature, nothing you do is about you anymore. And you move faster towards where you’re meant to go, self confident or not.